“Prettiness is not the rent you pay to occupy the space marked female” - Erin McKean

“You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female’.” —Erin McKean

Also, your level of “prettiness” goes in and out of style. Body shapes are sometimes “in” as quickly as they are “out.” The popularity of hairstyles, butt shapes, hip width, and waist circumference all have changing trends. You cannot keep up and it is hard to know that we can walk away from these ideals. And not everyone can walk away.

There are consequences we pay if we choose to walk away from these cultural constructs. The intersections of race, class, ethnicity, gender, and sexuality are all at play. We do not have control over our prettiness. And ageism will always crowd out prettiness in the end. If we hold certain privileges that do not affect our status in the world, it might help others if we turn down the volume on our expectations of prettiness. So many marginalized folks cannot afford to ignore the rules.

I hold a ton of privileges. I am working on caring less about my prettiness. I can afford to do that. It will serve me, it will serve others. If those of us who hold privileges are able to divest from the ways we uphold prettiness, we can do something good for everything. Will it change the systems? No. Will it ease some cultural expectations? Maybe. Will it be healthy all around to think less about our appearance? YES.

Please email robin@bodypositiveacupuncture.com if you have any questions about acupuncture treatment in Baltimore. If you are interested, a journey of Intuitive Eating will help you find your exit ramp from diet culture and improve your relationship with food and your body. If you have questions about Intuitive Eating, please message Robin Harris through email at robin@bodypositiveacupuncture.com or submit through the contact page. Intuitive Eating Counseling can take place anywhere because it is virtual!